Sarah Everard’s mother said she is tormented by her daughter’s final hours, in a moving statement to the Angiolini Inquiry into her daughter’s death.
Susan Everard gave her statement to the Angiolini Inquiry, which investigated how off-duty Metropolitan Police officer Wayne Couzens was able to kidnap, rape and murder Sarah.
Sarah, a 33-year-old marketing executive, was walking home from a friend’s house in Clapham Common, London, on March 3, 2021, when she was stopped by Couzens.
Her killer, who handcuffed his victim after identifying himself as a policeman, was sent to prison on a whole life order for the murder.
The statement of Sarah’s mother, Susan, appeared in the second report from the Angiolini Inquiry, which was published today.
Susan said: “I read that you shouldn’t let a tragedy define you, but I feel that Sarah’s death is such a big part of me that I’m surprised there is no outer sign of it, no obvious mark of grief.
“I have been changed by it, but there is nothing to see. Outwardly we live our normal lives, but there is an inner sadness.
“People who do know are unfailingly kind and have helped more than they will ever know.
“We are not the only ones to lose a child, of course, and we form a sad bond with other bereaved parents.
“After four years, the shock of Sarah’s death has diminished but we are left with an overwhelming sense of loss and what might have been.
“All the happy, ordinary things of life have been stolen from Sarah and from us – there will be no wedding, no grandchildren, no family celebrations with everyone there.
“Sarah will always be missing and I will always long for her.
“I go through a turmoil of emotions – sadness, rage, panic, guilt and numbness.
“They used to come all in one day but as time goes by they are more widely spaced and, to some extent, time blunts the edges.
“I am not yet at the point where happy memories of Sarah come to the fore.
“When I think of her, I can’t get past the horror of her last hours. I am still tormented by the thought of what she endured.
“We find we still appreciate the lovely things of life, but, without Sarah, there is no unbridled joy. And grief is unpredictable – it sits there quietly only to rear up suddenly and pierce our hearts.
“They say that the last stage of grief is acceptance. I am not sure what that means. I am accustomed to Sarah no longer being with us, but I rage against it.”
Read more:
Sarah Everard’s killer ‘should never have been an officer’
Wayne Couzens: Killer police officer’s journey to murder
The inquiry called for urgent action to prevent further violent, sexual attacks against women and girls in its latest report.
Publishing her findings, Lady Elish Angiolini, a former solicitor general for Scotland, said: “There is no better time to act than now. I want leaders to, quite simply, get a move on. There are lives at stake.”
