There was a moment in Calum Scott’s life when he found himself contemplating taking his own life.
The 36-year-old singer-songwriter tells Sky News: “I did get to a point where I had a very low self-esteem, very low self-worth… I thought, ‘I can’t see how my life will get any better from this moment’.”
He says it was only the thought of the “shattering” impact his death would have on his mum Debbie that pulled him back from the edge and gave him the momentum to reach out for help.
“What I thought was my lowest moment was probably my most defining moment in terms of being able to pick myself up… and to walk away, albeit with lots of tears and a lot of emotion.
“That was the moment that I needed to pursue better mental health.”
He’s since racked up a billion streams of his music, joining the likes of The Rolling Stones, Whitney Houston and ABBA in his achievement.
His biggest UK chart hit – a cover of Robyn’s Dancing On My Own – reached number two in the singles chart, with the video having been viewed more than half a billion times on YouTube.
It’s a future he would have found hard to comprehend just a decade ago.
Scott was working in the HR department of Hull City Council when Britain’s Got Talent made him an overnight star after receiving a “golden buzzer” (an automatic pass into the semi-finals) from judge Simon Cowell.
Scott reached the final – which was won by Jules O’Dwyer and her dog Matisse – and the singer’s success was the things dreams are made of. But he admits, it wasn’t all roses.
“That was when I first started having panic attacks,” he says. “For me to suddenly start down that road was scary.
“There’s no handbook on how to deal with fame. That doesn’t exist, as far as I know.”
A notoriously tough business, Scott says the music scene is one where “people constantly want something from you”.
The death of One Direction star Liam Payne – who rose to fame on talent show X Factor – last year was a stark reminder of the pressure on those in the public eye.
Scott says Payne’s death could be the “wake-up call that the industry needs” to highlight “the pressure, the expectation (and) the workload” on young artists.
“You need that balance to be able to be creative, and the industry is where art meets consumerism,” he says.
“I think you’ve got to be careful that that line doesn’t start to impose on your soul and in your heart.”
‘A prisoner in your own body’
For Scott, his desire to perform in front of thousands has lived alongside his battle with the debilitating mental health condition, body dysmorphia.
“It’s an industry where people are not only listening to the music, but they’re looking at you and scrutinising you, and it’s difficult to put yourself out there – to be enjoyed and to entertain people – but also to be criticised,” he says.
Estimated to affect up to 2% of the adult population in the UK, according to the Body Dysmorphic Disorder Foundation, sufferers spend hours worrying about perceived flaws in their appearance, which can severely impact work, social life and relationships.
Scott says: “For me, growing up, I had a few issues with my sexuality and my dad leaving when I was young and losing all my friends. A lot of reasons compounded down as to why I ended up with body dysmorphia.”
At his worst, obsessively documenting his perceived flaws, Scott says: “For anybody who’s suffering with body dysmorphia, you feel a prisoner in your own body, and it’s awful.
“With social media, it’s difficult because every facet of every part of our life is documented on Instagram in the perfect way. And that’s just not how life works.
“People aren’t putting their worst parts on social media. Somebody wakes up at six in the morning, they’re beautiful and their hair’s done, but somebody set that camera up to record that moment. It’s not real.”
‘The favourite part of my job’
One thing that is real is Scott’s connection to his fans.
“My favourite part of my job is going to a gig and performing the songs that have resonated with people in such different, vast ways, and watching it happen in real time,” he says.
“It’s like magic, you know? Like the stuff you used to watch – Paul Daniels on the TV, and my god, it just used to buzz you. It’s the same thing.”
With a new album and a 48-city world tour ahead of him, Scott’s story is an inspiring one.
A mental health advocate, his message of hope is one he hopes to share with his fans and beyond: “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t give myself the opportunity to. It’s important to just stay headstrong, believe in yourself. Anything’s possible.”
Calum Scott’s third studio album, Avenoir, is out on 12 September, followed by his world tour, which kicks off on 12 October in Porto, Portugal.
Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email [email protected] in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK
